Choices

    I love how I go from living in Kentucky to moving out west and two years after being here I almost get proposed twice not even a year after the other. Me turning down pretty much both to have the chance to serve my mission. I am very blessed to have these opportunities but in reality was it a mistake? In some eyes it seems to be a horrible decision but what type of person am I to put my needs before the Lords? He would have never gave me this desire to serve if I was not meant to.
    It seems alot of people are so worried about getting married they forget the bigger picture. Yes in reality getting married is in the end the desired result but do people seem to rush it or take too long to take the plunge? I tried to explain to the first that what was missing was the spirit in our relationship. He was focused more on other things like stopping me from going on my mission because he was "too selfish" to let me serve the Lord and he was so consumed on making money. Don't get me wrong this desire is awesome but you should put the Lord first above making money. You can have all the money in the world and still be miserable without the Lord in your life. You have to figure out what matters most in this life. Worldly things or Godly things, Right here right now happiness or eternal happiness?
    Now for the most amazing man I have ever had the privilege of dating supports my decision and who has respected me in every way unlike the other. I find it harder to leave this time. Maybe it was his boldness having this serious talk with us only having the chance of being together for just a couple weeks, I will admit it was quite refreshing. To have a real man sharing his feelings and us discussing both of our feelings. The first man I almost got engaged to just assumed I would say yes without a doubt, because in his meaty eyes any woman my age would jump at a marriage proposal. I guess he didn't know me as well as he thought he did.
      I believe in something more in this life than the mediocre expectations of others before me. I believe in something more real, more powerful, more beautiful than you can ever imagine. When I love, I love with all my heart. I could see me actually falling for this second man. It would take me awhile but I could see it happening after several months of being together. Good thing I wont have to think of silly boys for 18 months. :) I have made my choice and it is official, I'm going on a mission.